a blogspot exclusive

the past several blogs i've written, i've subsequently cut&pasted onto my myspace to maximize exposure. this begs the question, why a whole separate blog? why bother? that blog has a pretty specific audience and this blog has a different audience as well but since i'm not too concerned about catering to either crowd [no offence, my babies] why even separate the two?

a big piece of the equation is my vanity. i want as many people to read these things as possible. i want you to read what i write and think that i'm smart and funny. is it working? [don't answer that. seriously.]

but again, why two blogs? should one serve a purpose that the other does or can not? SHOULD i be catering to my devoted readers whom i love so dearly? all four of you??

i have no idea. it's kind of like the mystery of multiple social networks. i personally belong to three -- each with some overlap but each with varying degrees of 'privacy'. sometimes i wonder what the point of it all is. i don't tend to take these online 'friendships' all to seriously and truth be told, i'm a bad online friend if we're not real-life friends for real. the whole thing kinda creeps me out and it makes me wonder if every new wave of communication technology was met with this kind of wariness. like were the first users of the telephone thinking to themselves, "gee, it's quite odd to be speaking my deepest thoughts into this plastic thing in the wall?" i certainly feel funny about attempting to type genuine thought and feeling onto a screen [nevermind that my funny feelings rarely stop me].

i don't really get any of it. i just know that it's all very confusing and scary. it's scary to think that my kids may grow up with friends they never see in person. it's scary to think that future generations will value pixels on a screen more than the tone in a voice. i still remember what my best friend's house smelled like in elementary school, will my grandkids have that? frightening.

don't get me wrong, i love technology [cue kip dynamite!]. i love the opportunity to connect with long lost friends and to maintain contact with faraway buddies. i love that there is a place for me to write and rant to my heart's desire. but i hesitate to take any of it seriously. i hesitate to assign any real value to it and my heart is constantly guarded and kept miles away. as technology is progressively intimacized and intimacy is continually technologized, i'm not sure how long i'll be able to maintain my distance. but please forgive me if i hold out as long as possible.