Sunday, February 3, 2008

why valentines day doesn't have to suck

it's that time of the year, kiddos! all the hallmark stores are adorned in pink and red, the floral shops have beefed up their inventory, the olive garden is all-hands-on-deck and russell stovers is the happiest camper on the block. and of course, it's the time of year when us single folk are asked that dreaded question. sure, we get this query in many variations all throughout the year but right around february 14th, the question is thrown in our faces like a fistful of poo: so, are you seeing anyone?

after giving a sheepish shrug to the negatory, smug non-single person comes back with the only question more painful than the first: WHY? to add insult to injury, this follow-up is usually accompanied by some suggested responses: maybe you're being too picky? maybe guys are just intimidated? maybe you're not making yourself available?

truth is, i would LOVE to have a plausible answer. i would love to be able to say, "you know, i think it's the tail. i mean it's prehensile and everything but dudes just don't seem into it." at which point i would form my tail into the shape of a question mark right next to my head to further illustrate my confusion.

but i don't have a tail and i don't have an answer. i have no idea why my treo isn't chocked full of dates and why there isn't a line of attractive young fellas that look like this hunk lined up outside my door. my guess is there really isn't an answer, or at least there isn't one answer. there isn't a formula and none of those self-help books or Christian dating manuals have a sure-fire key to getting un-single. it's pretty much a crap shoot, folks! which is PRECISELY why valentine's day doesn't have to suck.

i'm sure one day valentine's day will be an awesome opportunity to celebrate the love i've found and blahblahbarf once i'm finally cured of my singleness [KIDDING]. in the meantime, it's just a day! it doesn't have to be any more dreadful or torturous than i make it. i'm not saying being single doesn't suck. it does suck. it can be fun at times but for the most part it's pretty crappy [ESPECIALLY when you're being bombarded with irritating questions like, why are you single?]. but why waste energy dwelling on its suckiness just because of a socially constructed holiday? there'll only be a pity party if you throw one. why not pour that energy into celebrating something more positive like the fact that you have running water, a roof over your head, no festering boils [anymore], and a computer screen in front of your face? i know it's easier said than done, but i think it's worth the effort. it's certainly a better use of energy than being a whiny woe-is-me debbie-downer and making your fellow singlefolk wanna punch you in the face.

so buck up, singles! put away that copy of 'the notebook' and take this blog like a lil nudge to the chin. if nothing else, be thankful that you have good friends and that you don't have a tail, prehensile or not.


kate said...

this is quite possibly one of the most fabulous valentines day posts i've read in a long time. glad to be crossing paths w/you at Q, jessica!

Nino said...

you should really read that book, 'i kissed dating goodbye.' i think it would be good for you.

(i hope you know that i'm joking)

oh, and middle finger to all those w/ significant others!

(just kidding)

(or am i??)